— Writing snippet
A later scene in what I’m working on now. I want to get it down so I don’t forget it :) If you see this, Connie, don’t read it. Not unless you want everything spoiled for you.
The lights went out, and I screamed.
No, no, I had to remain calm. Remain calm and figure out my way out of here. It would be okay. I’d be okay. This was all psychology. As long as I didn’t let fear take over my brain, I’d be okay.
Who was I kidding? I was fucking terrified. More so than when I’d attempted reading Stephen King.
I crawled on the ground, hearing the scrape of my nails against the ground, reminding me that this was only Ethan’s classroom, not the dirty matted ground of a closet.
My heart pounded, and I felt like throwing up. I could feel my head throbbing, each individual pain like words.
You’re trapped. You’re trapped. You’re trapped.
A whimper escaped my lips, and I sat there for a moment, closing my eyes and trying to pretend I was somewhere else.
That didn’t work. I’d never been good at deluding myself where fear was concerned. I kept trying to find purchase, the doorknob. Just had to reach the doorknob.
Goodbye, Ariadne. I’m sorry.
“No,” I whispered. I could feel the solidity of the wall, but I felt too weak to reach the door. To let myself out. If the power was out here, it meant it was out in the corridors, too. How was I supposed to get out of this blackness only to stumble into more?
Why did you have to do this, Arissa? Why? Why did you leave me to be like this?
I hadn’t noticed that I was hyperventilating until I heard breaths squeaking out of me like air from a flat tire.
Oh, God. Oh, God. I was going to die in here. Or pass out. They’d find me like that, sprawled on the ground and prostrate. Why was I so weak? I couldn’t give Ethan something worthwhile to read, I couldn’t interact like a normal person with others.
I was useless. I didn’t deserve a place in this world.
Something clicked, and I jumped, my head banging against the wall, or a desk. I wasn’t sure anymore.
A low whisper came through the room. “Ariadne?”
“Ra-Raphael?” I stuttered. “Wh-what are you doing here?”
“Looking for you.” I could hear his footsteps against the ground, shuffling and bumping into desks. “Ouch. Do you want to tell me where you are so I don’t suffer any egregious injuries?”
I shrunk into the wall. “Leave me alone.”
The footsteps stopped. “Why?”
“Because, because…” I took a deep breath and told him the truth. “I don’t want you to see me like this.”
He started shuffling around again. “Tell me where you are. Or just keep talking.”
“I’m embarrassed,” I said, the words I’d been afraid to say flowing from my mouth. I hoped they got lost in the darkness. “So embarrassed and ashamed. I shouldn’t have reacted that way. It’s not like we’re…anything. Just friends. I shouldn’t have said those things that I did. You’re entitled to your secrets, just like I am to mine.
“I was trying to protect myself. I don’t know how I ended up hurting you that way, Raphael. And for that, I’m so sorry. I did the one thing that I couldn’t stand.”That Arissa did to me. “I shouldn’t be allowed to be a part of society. I should go live in a cave, and be a hermit, and catch fish with my bare hands—”
I stopped and took a breath. It was silent. “Raphael?” I asked timidly. Did he leave while I was confessing everything? Did he hate me, still? I swallowed painfully against the lump in my throat, sinking against the wall.
“I’m right here.” Arms slipped around my waist, pulling me up so I was standing. Even in the pitch black, I could see his luminous gray eyes, glowing with some hidden light. “I’m here.”